Which Pokémon should you eat at drag brunch?
We’ve all been there. It’s 1 p.m. on a Sunday. You went too hard the night before. You hit every club, every bar, made eye contact with strangers you probably shouldn’t have, and spent more money than you should have. Maybe you went home alone. Maybe you didn’t. Either way, now your friends have dragged you to brunch. And I do mean dragged – because of course it’s drag brunch!
It’s hot. The mimosas are bottomless. A queen is dancing and her lacefront isn’t properly glued down. You’re starving, staring at the menu… but something feels off. Why are there Pokémon on the menu?
Are Pokémon even edible? Is this ethical? Probably not. But who cares?! You’re hungover! You deserve this, and your friends swear they won’t judge you. That’s a lie, obviously.
So what do you order? Don’t worry. I’m here to guide you. Here’s which Pokémon you should eat at drag brunch.
Exeggcute Benedict
Six runny Exeggcute, softly poached until the yolks are golden and molten, then smothered in a silky Hollandaise sauce. Served on a toasted Galarian muffin with a thick slice of Grumpig bacon for a perfect balance of richness and salt.
Pumpkaboo Spice Latte
Freshly brewed espresso blended with velvety Pumpkaboo purée and steamed milk, infused with cinnamon, nutmeg, and clove. Topped with a swirl of whipped Milcery and a sprinkle of autumn spice for that cozy, fall-in-a-cup feel.
Tropius Banana Smoothie
Bananas harvested straight from Tropius, blended into a creamy smoothie with yogurt, Combee honey, and a touch of Vanillish. Served ice-cold in a tall glass, garnished with two Cherubis.
Pancakes with Whipped Alcremie
Stacks of soft buttermilk pancakes layered with maple syrup and crowned with peaks of freshly whipped Alcremie cream. Finished with a drizzle of Bounsweet coulis and a scattering of powdered sugar.
Miltank Steak and Omelette
A thick cut of Miltank sirloin, grilled to your preference and brushed with garlic butter. Paired with a Togepi omelette and a side of crisp breakfast potatoes and Scovillain peppers.
Torchic-en & Waffles
Crispy fried Torchic breast, seasoned with a secret blend of herbs, perched atop a stack of golden waffles. Drizzled with warm maple syrup and topped with a pat of butter that melts into every bite.
Leafeon Avocado Toast
Thick-cut sourdough toasted to a golden crunch, topped with smashed Leafeon greens blended with ripe avocado and a squeeze of fresh lemon. Finished with Nacli salt and a drizzle of Smoliv oil for a bright, crisp bite.
The queens return to the stage for one last bow. Your dollar bills are gone. Your plate is empty. And with that final bite, you’re satisfied. You’ve never had a brunch quite like this. You were so indulgent… Dare I say even naughty!
Sure, maybe you ate a Pokémon or two. But your hangover is gone. Your friends were going to judge you anyway. And deep down, you already know you’ll be back here next Sunday.
Who knows? Maybe next time there’ll be a recipe for Pikachu on the menu. Don’t worry — I won’t tell if you don’t.
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