Ranking every Star Wars film for Star Wars Day

May the Fourth, or Star Wars Day, is nearly upon us again and to celebrate I wanted to have a good rank. So, I thought let’s have a good rank of the major Star Wars films!

Like all good ranks, we need some guidelines and rules. I will be ranking all the major Star Wars films, so that’s Episodes 1 through 9 plus three other major offerings Rogue One, Solo and the Clone Wars animated movie. I will not be including Star Wars Holiday Special (1978), Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure (1984) and Ewoks: The Battle for Endor (1985) mainly because I have taste.

Lastly, this is my rank and you’re welcome to disagree with me on my ranking technique. Please feel free to leave your own ranking in the comments for others to admire your rank.

LET’S RANK!

12. Episode IX: Rise of Skywalker

You know full well why this is here. It’s an abomination of a film that makes no sense and had plot points that seemed like they were, at best, made up by an 8 year old boy in the school playground. It’s a film that was trying to stick an ending to a trilogy that wasn’t at all defined. Plus, the films were reeling from the loss of Carrie Fisher and the number of stand in, body doubles and truly odd reaction shots left over from previous films were borderline offensive to her memory.

11. Episode VII: The Force Awakens

This is a really mixed bag of a film, and maybe it says more about my general dislike of JJ Abrams films than anything, but I really didn’t care for The Force Awakens. If Episode 4: A New Hope didn’t exist, then this would be a good film. Sadly, with the OG Star Wars film sat right there, this was nothing more than a complete rip off with some scenes, themes and storylines matched shot for shot.

10. Star Wars: The Clone Wars

OK this movie as a standalone film is poor, but we can’t deny it kicked off an amazing animated series, so it has some credit. But with poor animation that made the characters look like Pinocchio at times, combined with a really poor script, the results were a disappointing film that was filling a gap that no one really wanted filling.

9. Solo: A Star Wars Story

The first (and last) of the ‘A Star Wars Story’ films, this was the turning point for the franchise when it realised that maybe they could just use Disney+ as an outlet for some of the more experimental stories, instead of bothering projectionists. While being much-hyped, the film was another one answering a question that no one was really asking. Harrison Ford so perfectly encapsulated Han Solo within the first few seconds of A New Hope, we didn’t need a backstory, but here we are. Some saving graces were Donald Glover’s Lando and Phoebe Waller-Bridger’s sardonic British droid L3-37.

8: Episode II: Attack of the Clones

The first of the digital Star Wars films, so expect suspiciously smooth and shiny surfaces everywhere. Attack of the Clones is fine, there’s good action moments with Yoda whipping out his little green Lightsaber for the first time and Christopher Lee menacingly glaring while being digitally replaced in every scene he has to move in. It’s very middle of the road and, like the decision to focus a sci-fi trilogy around politics, a bit dull overall.

7. Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Oh how we mocked when this first came out, but what a kind job time does sometimes, as actually this is a good film. Yes the podracing scene is too long, yes the entire movie hinges on an unnecessary diversion to Tattoine, and yes one of the main characters is killed by the end of the film which was just plain annoying rather than surprising. I also have a soft spot for Jar Jar Binks, there I said it, and I’m glad that Ahmed Best, the original actor, has found his way back from a very dark place of rejection.

6. Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

How do you follow Empire Strikes back? That’s really the question whose answer explains why it lands maybe unexpectedly low on this list. It’s like Lucas took all the tough, dark angst of Empire and thought they needed lightness and teddy bears in response, so he introduced literal teddy bears. This is the problem with Return of the Jedi, its whole purpose seems to be a bit of a lap of honour after Empire Strikes Back, forgetting they have to actually deliver a film. Random set pieces, weirdly forced conversations and a weak ending were the result. Plus, this film has probably suffered the most from the never ending Lucas CGI changes – too many pointless additions with their digital styles just not even matching the original film’s colour grading or textures. The ending montage of other planets celebrating the fall of the Empire looks like your mum accidentally taped over a bit of your favourite film. (Young people, ask your parents what video tape is and how annoying it was when someone taped over your shows.)

5. Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Wooden acting aside, this is actually one of the best films. This, most definitely is THE best Lightsaber battles ever with the sheer speed and power that Christensen and McGregor put into it being truly awesome. On top of this, we get plenty of action, more Yoda getting his Lightsaber out, and John Williams’ score soaring to its greatest heights. Hayden Christensen still couldn’t act his way out of a cupboard and the script certainly deploys a lot of cheesey exposition at times, but the way you can see the worlds of new and old starting to merge is clever and by the end we are set for the continuation into the original trilogy.

4. Episode VIII: The Last Jedi

Yes, I’m one of THOSE fans that likes my Last Jedi high up a list. For one shining moment in an otherwise frustrating and forgettable trilogy, there was a slight indication that this 40 year old story might just be moving with some bold new thoughts and direction. Only for JJ to come back in the next film and stamp all over it like a jealous kid stomping on his siblings favourite toy. For even the most fleeting of moments, we were able to consider that the whole light vs dark, good vs evil story could actually move to a point where everyone has a little light and dark in them. That Ray and Kylo could actually join forces and agree to disagree on somethings while still doing good. Also, this film ranks highly on cinematography and design… the icy planet with the red dust spraying up, yes please!

3. Episode IV: A New Hope

The film that started it all, of course it was going to rank highly here. It’s short and simple, almost quaint, and aside from reshaping 20th-century pop culture, it’s a genuinely amazing film. You can tell that this film was made in such a free, experimental environment where there was no pressure and no need to meet expectations. The resulting movie is wonderfully free, light and filled with wonder. From the moment Darth Vader walks on screen, to the epic space battles that ensue, you can feel the way that everyone on the film was just having fun. Also, whatever antidepressants exist in this galaxy, I’ll take a whole batch of them please. Never have I seen anyone like Leia bounce back from the destruction of their home planet and people so quickly, or like Luke recovering from witnessing the charred remains of his aunt and uncle so well he never mentions them again.

2. Star Wars: Rogue One

When it comes time to make more Star Wars films, I hope they look back at Rogue One and realise that one of the best films is one that has nothing to do with a Skywalker. The galaxy far far away has plenty of stories to tell without falling back on the same one family. At this point the Skywalkers are like the Kardashians, they keep popping up, no one wants them but they just won’t go away! Anyway, Rogue One draws heavily on the story lines and the nostalgia, but still charts its own course forward with superb direction and effects. This movie also gave space to more diversity on screen, a weak point for the franchise to date, including a certain loveable latino rogue called Cassian Andor who went to front his own TV show.

1. Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

Yes it had to be. The film where every frame is a masterpiece, not a second is wasted and every character has their moment, even with the incest. Empire Stikes Back has become the blueprint for the sequel film. Its ability to take the original film and push it even further into cinematic glory by heightening, expanding, twisting and blowing up the narratives is truly a masterpiece. If A New Hope started the space opera, this was the crescendo where everything came together in one glorious shining moment. We can forgive the cheesy dialogue in places and some of the plot holes which you can drive a truck through (Obi Wan turns out to have just straight up lied about Anakin to Luke), what we have is cinematic perfection with the fatherly twist that changed cinematic history forever.

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