If there’s one thing I appreciate in my video games, it’s a good ol’ meme that, after years spent browsing Tumblr and seeing the rise and fall of a ton of lesbian-orientated TV shows and movies, I recognize from when I was a teenager. So, I was ecstatic to see some very familiar faces in Lesbian Vampire Simulator.
Lesbian Vampire Simulator, created by developer Sammie, is a gay platformer that puts you in the shoes of Liv, a trans lesbian vampire, and her demon girlfriend Sonya. Things have been going pretty well for them, but the only problem is that Liv, well… She has an insatiable thirst for blood. So insatiable that if she doesn’t have any… Well, she’ll blow up.
Despite being in a very explosive relationship, Sonya doesn’t let that stop her from loving her girlfriend and so, together, they travel the world to find gay women to succ on and make faint at the homosexuality of it all.
There are 5 levels altogether, with each level being a different location where Liv and Sonya can find girls to succ on. As I said before, it’s here where the small headnods to queer fandom back in the early to mid 2010s starts to come to play. You’ll see women that look suspiciously like Princess Bubblegum and Marceline from Adventure Time, as well as what I assume to be Waverly from Wynonna Earp. Then there’s the whole lesbian vampire’s we’ve got going, which is y’know, a classic Carmilla…
There’s just a lot of memes and nudges which isn’t explicitly meaningful, but allows queer women to know that this game and its creator have their interests in mind. In the same way that we get nostalgic over the first Mario game, or the Final Fantasy 7 Remake, I found myself thinking back to my old days in fandom with each familiar face and theme in Lesbian Vampire Simulator and how meaningful that time was to me. I was 100% more cringeworthy then, but as I played throughout this platformer, nomming on a ton of pretty girl’s necks, I couldn’t help but grin and turn off the game to go look through my old Tumblr posts. Oh, they were so embarrassing. But they felt safe. Warm.
Outside of those handy little nods, however, Lesbian Vampire Simulator is also just a very good game. It may not be fancy, or as pretty as some of our favourite gay visual novels, but it took me at least an hour and a half to complete all of the levels. It’s fun, innovative, and asks you to be clever in how you interact with your environment.
The game looks and sounds simple, but you only have a minute or two to get through the level – with drinking blood being the only thing that adds some more time to your adventure – otherwise you explode. It’s a pretty nifty feature, and I’ll tell you now that I died… a lot.
So, what are you waiting for? Head on over to itch.io to grab Lesbian Vampire Simulator for yourself!