Sunday, July 14, 2024

Sleeping with Emperor Palpatine: A Star Wars Review

Have you ever really sat down and wondered how you got to where you are in the world? For you, it all starts with ‘Senate, is it love?’

The premise of ‘Senate, is it love?‘ is simple. You play as a version of yourself that gets hot under the collar when you lock eyes with the Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Empire, which means you sort of have no morals, but who are we to judge you for that?

You first begin at The Galaxies Opera House, where you’ve just bought a ticket to Squid Lake and have sat beside an elderly gentleman. Little do you know at the time, but that hot stud is indeed Emperor Palpatine. Well, you’ve always been attracted to a powerful man, haven’t you?

During your time at The Galaxies Opera House, you and Sheev Palpatine start to get close. He appreciates honest answers, and will be delighted if you act like you’ve been dropped on your head a few times at a young age. Regardless, after lamenting about how he can’t trust anyone, Sexy Sheev will confess that he fears for his life.

“”It’s the Jedi.” Tears begin to form in the corner of his eyes. “They’re planning to betray me. I’ve tried so hard to work with them but they despise me.” His head hangs in shame. “I truly fear even travelling home now – I am just waiting for them to attack me someday.”

With a confession like that, the only option is to, of course, offer him a ride to your apartment. It’s not like you’re heartless and are going to let the Jedi take his life, now are you? Anything for you, Sheev.

Emperor Palpatine

Once you’ve got this stud back to your apartment, that’s where the real fun begins. Or so you think, while Sexy Sheev was totally okay with you talking to him for a while, giving him some bourbon will make him a real Sleepy Sheev and you’ll have no choice but to tuck him into bed. Being a sex god is hard work, y’know?

It’s only when you give the man a daring kiss and tuck into his side to dream of Midichlorians and the wasted potential of The Rise of Skywalker that you discover all is not what it seems. The sweet, gentle Sheev may not be the man you first suspected he was. You only met him an hour ago, but boy, does this relationship go fast.

I won’t spoil the story for you, dear reader, but by the Sith, does it get interesting.

For those who want to hear more, you can play ‘Senate, is it love?‘ over at I promise you that you won’t regret it, because this game? It’s nothing short of a masterpiece and you need to play it for yourself to experience the rush of bedding Emperor Palpatine, the most dangerous man in the galaxy?

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