The Animal Crossing turnips have turned me into a bad person
Animal Crossing New Horizons has an economy that’s so easy to play into your advantage, but only if you put in the time, lose sleep, and sign a pact with a demon. If, like me, you’ve decided that’s just too much effort then Animal Crossing always has the turnips market you can take advantage of.
It seems simple enough, you buy turnips for a price that can range from low to high, and then you sell those turnips to Nooks Cranny in order to make twice as much back. The problem is that it’s very easy for the owners, Timmy and Tommy, to look at your turnips, internally laugh at your stupidity, and offer 45 bells for turnips that you foolishly bought at 110 bells.
Fine, I kinda get it. You need to make a living, even in Animal Crossing and let’s be honest, Timmy and Tommy are most certainly not the brightest when they pay a load of bells for tons of weeds. But that hasn’t stopped me from wishing their demise each and every time I go to Nooks Cranny and get hit with the price. If I could get away with it, I’d stage a kidnapping of the two buggers, Taken style. Then I really could be called a thief.
It’s not just me who’s thinking it either. I have woken up to many a message from my friends often threatening violence on Timmy and Tommy, usually along the lines of “I’m going to kill them” or “those legs are going to be broken by the end of the day if they don’t raise their prices.” A lot more swearing than usual too, but we’ve already outsweared — is that a word? — ourselves this week, so I won’t include the colorful language that’s thrown at the Tanuki boys.
You see, this is part of the problem. I would not ‘classify’ myself as a bad person, but ever since Animal Crossing and the turnips came into my life, I feel as though I would totally shoot Timmy and Tommy if given the chance. Not even shoot them, I’d make their life an absolute misery first. I’d hit them with nets, put pitfall seeds underneath them and I’d trap them in a cage with Gulliver for hours on end with little to no remorse inside my soul.
This line of vitriol thinking makes me wonder: does this mean that video games are bad, actually?
Yes. Yes they are.
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