Thursday, April 18, 2024
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Baldur’s Gate 3 Patch 5 is a win for willy jiggle physics

Yesterday, Baldur’s Gate 3 released Patch 5, their most significant and mind-blowing patch update yet. It added a sweet epilogue party, fixed many bugs, made Bing Bong canon, and even included new kisses for Wyll and Astarion. The patch also added willy jiggle physics to Baldur’s Gate 3. Now, try saying that twice in quick succession — what a mouthful!

Players who have had nudity enabled pre-Patch 5 will have already recognized that their character’s salami is rather static no matter how many laps around the camp they do. We get it. There are already so many other variations in the game that adding jiggle physics to penises was probably not high on the list of things to include in-game.

Patch 5 fixes that, though. After some thorough testing with Gale and our characters, we can confirm that lovers of willies everywhere will be happy to know that their bits can now flap around. Congratulations to everyone involved, and we’re awfully sorry to all of the goblins we scarred while confirming that this was indeed an addition that came with the latest patch.

As we can’t precisely put dick and balls on our website, we’ll instead refer you to a Twitter thread that may or may not have the physics tested out in the comments to said thread.

Unfortunately, as we also tested with Shadowheart, Karlach, and Lae’zel, there is no physics for the gals who love to saunter around with their boobs out. Seems a bit unfair, but Larian has done such a marvellous job with this update that we’ll forgive them for this oversight.

Still, if you’re fond of a willy or two, Patch 5 of Baldur’s Gate 3 seems the one for you.

And as D.J. Kraaijkamp, an Associate Lead Rigger over at Larian Studios, puts it, making those willies jiggle was “truly one of my proudest moments.”

Nice.

Aimee Hart

[She/They] Aimee Hart specializes in queer fandom, video games and tabletop, having started her career writing for numerous websites like The Verge, Polygon, Input Magazine and more. Her goal now is to boost LGBTQ+ voices in the video games industry.