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According to Kirby’s creator, Kirby will never be a hot man

What’s true of most things is that no matter what monstrous thing exists – and yes, we are talking about Kirby still – there’s someone out there who will want to, ahem, become intimate with it.

Especially if that something is Kirby who, as has been suggested before, transforms into anything that he sucks up. So, as expected, finally someone (Chris Plante at Polygon) has asked an important question: if Kirby sucked a hot man up into his mouth, would be able to transform into said man?

This question was posed to HAL Laboratory executive director Shinya Kumazaki and expert director Tatsuya Kamiyama, who both were present at GDC. It was during this event that Polygon got Kamiyama and Kumazki to spill the anthropomorphic beans and a surprising amount of Kirby lore that may or may not be considered canon. If the creators said so, then it must be, right?

Unfortunately for those of you who were hoping for a happy, hunky answer to Polygon’s questions about Kirby getting a hot man inside his gullet, we’re here to tell you that you’ll be disappointed.

“I think your friend might have noticed the muscles and power the images depicted.” Kuzmaki shared, referencing a GDC panel that showcased Kirby and superheroes. “I think Kirby’s ability would be in line with that. And he’d probably have a hat associated with it. But his face would not turn into hot Kirby.” Well, that sucks. And not in a good way.

While Kirby will never be a hot man, Polygon did put to bed the theories that Kirby is an evil cannibal who digests everything he swallows. Indeed, if you thought that Kirby actually eats everything he puts in his mouth, then Kumazaki has news for you.

“When an enemy or creature gets swallowed by Kirby, they may disappear but they do resurface somewhere else in the world.”

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