Tuesday, May 28, 2024

Dear Larian Studios, Please Don’t Change This Baldur’s Gate 3 Bug

For fans of Bethesda games, you’ll know what I mean when I say that sometimes I want a bug or two in Baldur’s Gate 3 to remain in the game. Now I clearly don’t mean game-breaking ones, but just…sillier ones. Just bugs that make us laugh, or add something weird to a character. Something a little like Dragon Age’s Krem being unable to sit in a chair the right way.

Baldur’s Gate 3 has a lot of bugs, the downside of being in Early Access, but that hasn’t stopped it from being plenty enjoyable. Some of these bugs are, dare I say, fun? Who doesn’t love watching your companion’s feet move at a thousand miles a minute for no real reason? Of course, I could handle a lot of these bugs being moved into the ether, never to return. There is one, however, that I personally want Larian Studios to keep in.

I call it the ‘YA NASTY’ Shadowheart bug, and to get it you’ll need to get down and dirty with local vampire spawn, Astarion. Thanks to an updated cutscene, you’ll know exactly what is happening and why Shadowheart is such a key part of this bug.

In your romance scene with Astarion, you have the option to push him down and let him ‘unleash the beast’ – aka make a right mess of your neck with his vampire teeth. Choosing that option obviously gets Astarion’s approval but, to the surprise of many players out there, also nets Shadowheart’s instant disapproval. How? I have no clue as Shadowheart isn’t even part of the cutscene.

Still, it’s a bug that isn’t just hilarious but adds a layer to the half-elf that’s rarely seen by people who don’t take the time to befriend her. That and there’s just something funny about the most seriously Shadowheart being a complete pervert.

What makes this bug even funnier is that, according to the patch notes of the most recent update, Shadowheart’s pervy nature was supposed to have been eradicated from the game. But that just goes to show how little Larian Studios know about Shadowheart’s determination to watch a sex scene between the main character and a vampire spawn. Embarrassing, really.

Honestly, this Baldur’s Gate 3 bug has to be my favourite of all time. It’s funny, fits well with the general campy attitudes of some of your other companions, and adds a flaw (?) to Shadowheart that is more than memorable.

So please, Larian Studios, don’t change it. I will take the extra Shadowheart disapproves with a smile on my face.

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