Parvati and I: how ace sexuality is explored in Outer Worlds
“I’m not much interested in… physical stuff.” When Parvati was talking about crushing on an engineer, I didn’t really process her statement right away. I was clicking through my endless Notepads of notes for The Outer Worlds, making sure I was getting what I needed to write about the game, as freelancers do. It wasn’t until the dialogue stopped and I was able to pick a way to respond to Parvati’s statement that I realized what she was saying.
Oh my god, she’s ace… she’s actually ace!
Suddenly I was very interested in her crush, and how things were going to work out. After all, I’ve been in her position enough times before to know that falling in love while being ace is far from easy.
In The Outer Worlds, you’re basically Halcyon’s last hope as the colony spirals to societal collapse. You were even frozen and sent to the colony on a ship called The Hope, filled with the Earth’s best and brightest, as if the game wants to make your position more obvious. You have some tough decisions to make along the way, and the colony will reap the rewards or pay for the consequences of your decisions.
But as it turned out, I was more interested in the companions I met along the way. Each of my five human companions felt like real people, not some cardboard cut-out of tropes like many RPGs do. As a result, when they wanted to give their opinion on matters, I listened… and when they asked for help, I helped.
Parvati is the first companion you get, who will help you on your trek through the Emerald Vale. She’s a brilliant engineer but withdrawn and skittish–clearly more comfortable with her work than interacting with people. She’s kind-hearted and earnest, which makes her opinion valuable, but when the choices get difficult Parvati doesn’t always know what to do. Her skills may not make her the most useful companion in battles, but The Outer Worlds lets you get by with practically any party anyway.
When you touch down on Groundbreaker, Parvati will ask if they can meet Junlei Tennyson, the Chief of the cityship. As the Unreliable’s engineer, Parvati believes that Junlei can help teach her more about keeping a spaceship from falling apart.
Sparks quickly fly between Junlei and Parvati, however, as they exchange messages. Junlei starts sending Parvati (bad) poems and sonnets as a clear display of affection, but it makes Parvati nervous. Her relationships in the past have gone poorly, as her lack of physical needs and wants have gotten her labeled as cold and as if she were a robot.
On top of that, Junlei mentioned another girl in her messages and Parvati is worried she’s reading into this wrong. Her skittish nature is getting the better of her, though, and Parvati asks if the two of you can go for drinks–an unusual move for the engineer, as Parvati has stated she doesn’t like alcohol. Regardless, the poor girl needs a drink.
“Oh Captain, I wanna talk to Junlei all the time. Even about silly things. But I’m so scared.” With a little bit of wine in her, Parvati starts to open up about what’s making her so nervous. “What if we-we get together, and she gets bored of me?”
Eventually, she drills down into her being ace. “You know I don’t like physical affection. That’s-well, it’s tripped folks up in the past. Folks I thought cared about me for me.” It’s clearly difficult subject to for Parvati to talk about, and for me personally, it is something that’s struck very close to home.
As an ace person, I’ve mainly been in relationships with others that aren’t ace. Since I’ve labeled myself as grey-ace, physical intimacy isn’t completely off the table, but I’ve always been one that could take it or leave it. Those that I’ve been in a relationship with are typically okay with decreased physical affection… at first. Eventually, though, my lack of sexual attraction wears them down. They feel sexually repressed or that I don’t love them, because I don’t reciprocate in a physical manner.
Parvati continues. “What if she’s not okay with that? What if she IS, but then, later, she’s not?” I just got out of a long-term relationship, not even a month before starting The Outer Worlds. The main reason for us breaking up? They were okay with it, but then, later, they weren’t.
Never had I seen a character on screen that faced the same struggles that I have, in video games or otherwise. Like Parvati, I’m terrified of entering relationships, fearful of being hurt months or years down the line when someone just can’t deal with me being ace anymore. I’m afraid of trying to explain my lack of sexual attraction and having it getting hand-waved away as a phase, or that I haven’t met the right person or any number of reasons. I don’t want anyone to call me cold, or accuse me of being a robot.
After Parvati lays her fears about her disliking physical affection, The Outer Worlds gives you one of five options to choose from. Not one of them is dismissive of Parvati being ace and all of them are at least understanding of her situation, a rarity for a choice-based game where you can often be an asshole to everyone.
One of the options you can choose here is to tell Parvati that you also don’t like physical affection. Her reaction and the stunning delivery by Parvati’s voice actor Ashly Burch still brings me to tears.
“You’re… like me? So we’re… we’re kin-like. That makes me-well, unaccountably happy, Captain. It’s a lonely thing, being different like this.”
In the world of social media, there are resources for people to learn more about their sexuality, including whether or not they’re ace. There are people like you, that you can talk to and share your experiences with. But on Halcyon, where Parvati lives, she was all alone. She knew that she was different, but she had no one to talk to, and no one that understood. It’s so painful to think about, but also an experience so many people that are “different”, whether it’d be their sexuality or something else, go through. The confusion in Parvati’s voice melts away to happiness when she realizes she’s not alone anymore just oozes of years of feeling isolated. Parvati sounds as happy as I did when I realized she was ace in the first place.
For asexual characters, there’s only really one point of reference in media everyone points too, and I’ve gone on at length about the problems with that. Obsidian made a video game character where I felt seen and heard for the first time, and I am… well, unaccountably happy for that.
Eventually, your time with Parvati at the bar is done, with the woman’s confidence restored and possibly with a hangover. She asks Junlei out in time, which leads to another quest where you travel all around the galaxy preparing the engineer for her date. After their evening together, if you’re perceptive enough you can ask Parvati how Junlei handled her being ace.
“She said we’ll take it as it comes. Fix things together. Share Meals, Talk. Maybe she could rub my shoulders when they’re sore. I said I might like that.”
After you save the colony, Parvati and Junlei stay together. Parvati goes to the Groundbreaker, and the two are inseparable. It’s a nice, happy ending, one where Junlei accepts Parvati’s differences and they have a lasting relationship.
Real life can’t always be that clean-cut, but it does provide a small hope that there are happy endings for ace people looking for love. More importantly, though, sometimes it just means a lot to feel seen.
About The Author
I was shocked when I saw this pop up in the game. I didn’t really believe it at first. And when I finally understood there was an actual asexual character, I fell in love with the game. I also figured she was going to be showered with a lot of online love. She’s my favorite character in gaming this year.